Man Enough
By Braley Veras
A few months ago, I was looking for a good podcast to listen to while working out at the gym. After chatting with friends and peers, I was recommended a podcast called Man Enough. The title immediately grabbed my attention because I’ve been leading discussions with male-identifying students in schools. During these sessions, one question we kept circling back to was, “What does it mean to be a man?” This topic often took a few sessions to unpack fully, so I figured this podcast might offer some new perspectives I could bring to our discussions.
In researching the podcast, I found out that Man Enough is created by Justin Baldoni, an actor, producer, and now podcast host. At the end of each episode, Justin asks his guests the same question: “What does it mean to be man enough?” Each guest has a different answer, but a few common themes kept popping up. They talked about creating safe spaces for others, the importance of being a safe space for themselves, and showing up in the relationships that matter to them. The word “safe” kept coming up over and over again, and I was impressed by how open and vulnerable the men on the show were.
These conversations showed me how powerful it is to allow men to express their emotions, own their mistakes, and lean on a supportive community. After bingeing several episodes, I even bought Justin Baldoni’s book Man Enough. In the book, Justin Baldoni discusses how men often feel like they have to constantly prove they’re “man enough.” From a young age, boys are taught to compete with each other and are given strict ideas about what it means to be masculine. These ideas can make boys reject anything seen as “feminine.” Without realizing it, these messages are passed to millions of boys and girls worldwide.
As men, one of the first steps toward being allies is rejecting these toxic ideas. Through his conversations with other men, Justin created a space where they could share their feelings without fear of judgment. I remember one episode where he cried while talking about his relationship with his father and how boys need love. These boys grow into men who still need love, affirmation, and a safe space to work through their emotions. I was so inspired by the space he created that I bought his book Man Enough. Even as an adult, I found myself challenged by many of the ideas in it, and I’m grateful that someone is willing to be so vulnerable and honest about these topics.
I made a promise to myself that I’d create similar spaces in every school where I lead discussions with male students. In our groups, we often talk about “holding space” for others. It can be hard for boys to hold space for themselves because many were never given that space when they were younger. Later, when they’re expected to hold space for others in relationships, they face a lot of challenges. One thing I often say in our groups is, “How you hold space for others often reflects how you hold space for yourself.” Before men rush to be the “hero,” it’s important to first take time to explore the parts of ourselves that need more attention.
Self-awareness, accompanied by action, is the best thing we can offer as men in society. Do you feel safe? Do you feel like you’re enough? Do you know how to hold yourself accountable? And lastly, do you love yourself unapologetically? These questions keep me grounded in my work, and they remind us that we need to teach young boys that they are already enough.