Guiding Lights: Faith Leaders’ Role in Domestic Abuse Intervention

Faith, spirituality, and faith-based communities can often be an important part of a survivor’s support network. Survivors often find a renewed sense of purpose, strength, and community connection as they focus on their spiritual wellness and lean on others for encouragement and guidance. Faith leaders and community members can make a huge difference in a survivor’s healing journey, as they can be the difference between a survivor’s complete social isolation and support… between a survivor feeling lost or feeling heard.

It’s essential to note, however, that faith communities can sometimes further complicate the situation for survivors. Abusers can use elements of spiritual abuse to keep survivors continually isolated in the shadows. In some cases, abusers will twist spiritual texts and teachings to justify their abusive actions, stop someone from practicing their faith, or even blame “evil” or “sin” to excuse their abusive behaviors and avoid accountability for their actions. Unfortunately, if we are not careful, abusers may use their charm and public persona within the faith community to further perpetuate the abuse, and manipulate, force, or coercively control the survivor.

As Scott Arbeiter, President of World Relief states, “Faith communities have a critical role to play in awakening our culture to the reality that nothing limits a person more than to be attacked at the very core of their identity (and especially when abuse comes at the hands of those they have trusted). Sadly, faith communities can often contribute to the problem by failing to hear and believe the cries of [survivors], failing to confront abusers, and failing to establish the culture, systems, and accountabilities that will break this cycle.”

If you’re part of a faith community, whether as a leader or a member, you have a unique chance to help survivors by promoting their safety and healing. So, what can you do to make a difference? Here are a few ideas:

1. Become a Safe Place: Start by establishing a safe church policy and advocate with church leadership to adopt procedures that protect vulnerable members of the community. Display brochures and share information with those in need. Offer spaces for survivors to meet regularly and support one another or speak to survivors to see what they need and create those spaces for them. Consider partnering with local resources, like Turning Point, to reflect on how you can best support those healing from abuse.
2. Talk about it: Knowledge is power! Start conversations about abuse and create an environment of awareness. Host educational events, or bring up the topic in monthly newsletters, bulletins, or study groups. The more we talk about it, the more survivors will know that they are not alone and there is help for them.
3. Reflect on Your Community’s Culture: Take the time to reflect on your community culture and how it may be affecting survivors. It’s important to remember that mutual abuse is a myth – there’s always one person in an abusive relationship using abusive tactics to further control the other; thus, mutual responsibility for the abuse is not safe for the survivor. So, take the time to reflect and ask yourself: Are we fostering a culture of compassionate accountability? Are we calling out unhealthy, abusive behaviors? Are we listening to the voices of all survivors, no matter their identity? Does our faith support staying in an abusive relationship? Are we thinking about survivor safety in every decision we make? Finally, are we suggesting couples’ counseling in abusive relationships, which might actually do more harm than good?
4. Lead by Example: As a leader in your faith community, people will look to you for comfort and guidance, especially during trying times. Don’t shy away from using your influence to speak up! Your words and actions can have a powerful impact on people’s attitudes and beliefs. Even small acts – offering a kind word, a listening ear, or a genuine show of concern and caring — can be a lifesaver to a survivor who feels alone and doesn’t know who they can trust. Use not only your words to speak out, but your actions; Believe survivors, respect their choices, model healthy behaviors, or volunteer with survivor-focused agencies.

At the end of the day, you have more power than you might realize to help survivors and make a positive difference in their lives. Don’t let your inability to do everything undermine your determination to do something.  – Panayiota Papadopoulos is an Outreach Educator Advocate with Turning Point of Lehigh Valley