Recognizing, Responding, and Helping Teens in Abusive Relationships

As kids get older, the adults in their life often know less about their daily lives.  It’s part of the normal process of growing up – they need to start being independent.  Parents and caregivers might struggle with finding a balance; how do you give a teen space and privacy while ensuring that they are staying safe?

As part of our work at Turning Point of Lehigh Valley, we are aware that one of the risks teens face is abuse in a dating relationship.  Navigating a dating relationship when you’re young is already difficult, and it may be especially hard to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviors.  A teen you know may have questions but not feel like they can come forward to you if this is something they are experiencing.

What should you be looking for?  How do you respond if this is something a teen in your life discusses with you?  As part of our dedication to raising awareness about this often-overlooked form of abuse, I hope you’ll find the information that follows to be a helpful tool to recognize, respond to, and help to prevent teen dating violence.

What Is Teen Dating Abuse?

Teen dating abuse is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner. It can include physical violence, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, stalking, financial abuse, and digital harassment.  It does not have to include physical abuse to be serious.  Abuse often starts subtly but can escalate over time, leaving long-lasting emotional and physical scars on teens.

Warning Signs to Recognize

Recognizing the signs of teen dating abuse is the first step toward prevention and intervention. Be on the lookout for these red flags:

• Isolation: Your teen’s partner discourages or prevents them from spending time with friends or family.
• Extreme jealousy or possessiveness: Frequent questioning about their whereabouts or who they’re talking to.
• Unexplained bruises or injuries: Physical evidence of harm that your teen cannot or will not explain.
• Sudden mood or behavior changes: Anxiety, depression, or shifts in academic performance.
• Excessive monitoring: Their partner constantly checks their phone or demands immediate responses to texts and calls.

How to Respond if You Suspect Teen Dating Abuse

If you suspect a teen is experiencing dating violence, here are steps you can take:

1. Listen without judgment: Create a safe space for them to share their feelings and experiences. Avoid blaming or criticizing.
2. Validate their feelings: Let them know their emotions are valid and that what they are experiencing is not their fault.
3. Educate them: Share information about healthy relationships and the warning signs of abuse.
4. Connect them with resources: Provide access to organizations like Turning Point of Lehigh Valley that can offer support and guidance.

Preventing Teen Dating Violence

Prevention starts with education and open communication. Here are ways to promote healthy relationships:

• Talk early and often: Engage in conversations about respect, boundaries, and the qualities of healthy relationships.
• Model healthy behavior: Demonstrate respect, communication, and conflict resolution in your relationships.
• Promote self-esteem: Encourage teens to develop their interests, hobbies, and social networks to build confidence and independence.
• Educate about digital safety: Teach teens about the importance of privacy and boundaries in online communication.

Resources for Teens and Families

Turning Point of Lehigh Valley offers various resources to support survivors of dating violence and their loved ones, including:

• 24/7 Helpline: Our trained advocates are available around the clock at (610) 437-3369.
• Empowerment Counseling: Confidential sessions with one of our Child & Teen Advocates can help provide a safe space to share experiences and receive support.
• Educational Opportunities: Turning Point offers programs designed to teach teens and families about healthy relationships and recognizing abuse in several of our Lehigh Valley high schools and well as middle schools.
• Safety Planning: Personalized safety plans to help teens protect themselves in dangerous situations. To create your own safety plan visit:https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/  or contact our helpline at (610) 437- 3369.

If you or someone you know needs assistance, please reach out to us at Turning Point of Lehigh Valley, and time day or night. All of our services are confidential and available at no cost to you.

Together, we can empower young people to build healthier, safer futures.

In peace-

Melissa Robinson, Training and Education Director